it's real and it's spectacular!

Well, as usual, I've been a BAAAAD blogger.  The last time I wrote a post was waaaay back on July 30 of 2013 - and now we're 3 days into 2014!!  I swear - it was fully my intention to keep this blog up to date as I transitioned from dyed blond to grey hair - but as usual, time (and life in general) got away from me.  I suppose the upside of it is, looking back, I had anticipated the process to be very long and drawn out - but in reality, it took six short months.  Now, I realize that if you're just starting the process, six months sounds like a MIGHTY long time - but take it from me, blink and it's gone.  (Even more true the older one gets, but that's a topic for another day).

Before and After

Anyway...I'm here to say that - I did it!!  I successfully transitioned from dyed to my natural grey (or as I like to call it, silver) hair!  About six months in, as much as I thought I had the mettle to stick it out and keep my hair at least bob length through the transition, one day, in a very impulsive flash, I just said, "that's it!" - and called my hair stylist for a same day chop.  Before I had the time to think it over, I was sitting in her chair, and within minutes, the deed was done.  I've got to admit, it was definitely a bit of a shock at first...not only was all the colour gone, but so were the curls that I'd only just learned to embrace.  And there I sat in front of the mirror - feeling sort of....meh.  All those months of excitement and anticipation, and it was sort of an anti-climax.  I actually think I mourned the loss of the curls over the colour...but in combination, yeah, I did have an inner "OMG what have I DONE???" moment.  Although most of the stylists at the hairdresser's were giving me a lot of positive reinforcement on my way out the door, I felt a bit like I had to run to the safety of my car and just let out a long deep breath...which I did.  First things first...OUT with my old rimless glasses. With this new 'do, they just screamed a little bit too "granny"  for me...so out came the newer frames that just hadn't been working with my transitional hair.  Okay - that was an improvement.  Funkier, not to mention something to hide behind now that I had NO. HAIR.

Next up - home to where my daughter was waiting to see the new me...with a sound of panic in her voice - as in..."oooooohhhh nooooooo Mom you didn't!"   I think she was expecting this:

Not ready to be a golden girl yet...

When I walked in the door, she actually held her hands over her eyes in anticipation of the horror...but then, something amazing happened.  She uncovered her eyes, and a huge smile spread over her face - and she exclaimed...."I LOVE IT!!!"  Okay...this was good.  When my youngest says it's good, I go with it - she's my little fashionista, with truly a great eye for fashion/style.  (And believe me, if she didn't like it, she would have said so).  So with that vote of confidence, I re-evaluated.  And then I remembered all my reasons for doing this in the first place, shook off all the doubt, and decided to OWN this.  After all, this was finally my natural colour, unveiled after almost 30 years - and on second (and third, and fourth) look - it was actually kind of - amazing. This was a colour that could NEVER come out of a bottle - although many try.  And I will NEVER have to worry about those "shameful" roots ever again.  Yep, this was good!!  With each passing minute, and then day, and week, I have completely embraced the new me...and unless they're lying through their teeth, so has almost everyone else that has seen it.  Oh, there a few that don't say anything (I put them in the "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" category) - but in the big picture - who cares?The main thing is that I'm happy with my new colour, it's real, and it's spectacular! ;-)  For those of you who might wonder about the full transition, here's a little collage I put together:

So, yeah, I'm done!  With the colour that is...still missing the length, even though I do continue to be told I should stick with the pixie.  For now, I'm aiming again for the chin length bob - and I'm determined to grow this baby out gracefully!  No mullet for me this time - (which, looking back on my old short to long transitions was a problem for me):

Hmmm....let me mullet over...

Wow.  Okay, moving on.  So now this turns into a "how to grow out a pixie cut" blog!! And not only that, but a GREY/SILVER pixie cut!!  (Believe me, I've googled the heck out of that combo, and NOTHING comes up - so this is a first, people!!) :)  I had my pixie on November 22, 2013 - and exactly one month later, here's a comparision shot (before on left):

what a difference a month makes... ;-)

It's getting longer, right?  RIGHT?? And the curls are starting to come back too....right?  Okay, so maybe you don't see much of a difference, but it's there.  And tomorrow, I'm going for my first trim since the pixie cut, but just the back, to fend off the aforementioned and dreaded mullet. I will try my darnedest to record THAT transition in photos, but I'm not making any promises.  Obviously, keeping a consistent blog is not one of my strong points, and to be honest, I'm not sure a blog devoted to the life and times of my hair is all that interesting. That said, I will try to keep it up - because I KNOW that there are some of you out there that just might happen upon  this in your quest for either a grey transition or a pixie cut transition - and perhaps this might just be of assistance.  Stay tuned...but don't hold your breath... :)

epiphany

For those day when I DO grow impatient - and I'm sure I will - there's always photoshop.

Well, today was something of a watershed day, I think. Over the past 48 hours or so, I came to a few realizations: 1. I have curly hair. 2. I'm impatient. So, what of it?

Well, to address each individually...

1.  I HAVE CURLY HAIR. Yep. Have had it all my life. And all my life (or at least when I started caring, and that was so long ago it may as well have been from the day I was born) I have FOUGHT it. It probably started to be the biggest problem for me in those dreaded years of junior high/high school - all the pretty and popular girls had the coveted parted-in-the-middle, silky sheath of straight, shiny, liquid, heavy, swishy, hair - while mine (in the dark ages of curl, before the invention of hair products, blow dryers, and flat-irons) was an unkempt, uncontrollable, helmet of frizz. Mine didn't grow down, it grew OUT. And up, and every other which way.  And the cute boys were NOT taking notice.  So, instead of trying to attract their attention with my feminine guiles, I decided the best way to catch their eyes was to emulate them! Yep, awesome plan. Dress in the same jeans and blue button down shirt, and cut and comb my mountain of frizzy hair in a style very similar to my particular crush (but it looked awesome on him!)  Needless to say, my plan never worked. Can't imagine why.... :) What did work, however, was an ironing board and iron (yep, the kind meant for clothes), or washing my hair at night and pulling it into the tightest ponytail EVER, and waking up in the morning with (cue angel music) STRAIGHT hair! (Or at least up to the point where the elastic had been attached - good look).  I decided to debut this newfound method of DIY hair-straightening for my junior high school prom - and sure enough, it was as if I'd been invisible all those years, and the ugly duckling had finally emerged as the proverbial beautiful swan. Literally overnight, people were suddenly taking notice. The signatures I collected in my yearbook the next day overwhelmingly make positive mention of my "new look", and the compliments began to flow. All because of my HAIR.  Is it any wonder it's been an albatross all these years? Despite my knowing better, the message was loud and clear: Straight = Pretty/Noticable; Curly = Unattractive/Invisible.

Now, I bet you're wondering why someone blogging about a transition to grey hair is telling all her sad little bad hair secrets from days gone by. (Well, at least the one of two of you that might be reading this might be wondering). ;-) Well, I'm here to tell you it's because my grey transition has led me to a second transition - yep, as you may have guessed, it's the transition to love and acceptance of my curly locks. I mean, if I'm going to go all out natural, it would only be a half-assed effort if I didn't also embrace my curls along with my silver/grey.  So why now? Well, I'm going to have to give yet another shout out  to my all-knowing peeps at the Gray and Proud FB group - so many lovely silver-haired curly girls there, who kept discussing the mysterious "Curly Girl Method".  It sounded like a really secret club to me - but one that I should belong to...so I googled it up, and discovered it's more than a secret club - it's an all out movement! SO much information about how to identify (I have "cherub" curls!), and the proper care and maintenance of curly hair.  I won't go into too much detail here - because believe me it is DETAILED - but suffice it to say it is a method developed by Lorraine Massey (goes without saying, a curly girl herself), and that there is a book (yes, I bought it), a product line, and there are salons that specialize in the "dry cutting" method for curly hair.  So hallelujah, I found my people, people!! And I am not alone! But more importantly, the method WORKS.  Followed the step-by-step instructions for the care and maintenance of my type of curls, and all of a sudden, I'm THIS close to tossing my blow-"fryer", flat-iron, and hairbrushes! FREEEEEEEDOMMMM! (Mel Gibson may have turned out to be a disappointment in real life, but ya gotta admit, Braveheart was, and still is, a hell of a movie).

William Wallace didn't give a damn about his hair, or what people thought of it...

2.  I'M IMPATIENT.  So, all this curly stuff was motivated by a decision I had made late last week to speed up this damn grey transition by booking an appointment for a short hair cut.  Just chop off all this colour, and be DONE with it. I was convinced I was ready to return to my days of short hair, and had picked out a winsome, tousled, gamine cut that looked fabulous on Audrey Tautou. (Never mind that her hair is dark brunette, she is an impossibly chic, classic, French beauty, and she's at least 20 years my junior).  

 But here's where "Curly Girl" comes in to play.  After adhering to their instructions for "no-pooing", conditioning, drying, etc., I ended up having the BEST curly-haired day ever.  Yes, EVER. (Or at least to me.) And as luck would have it, on the day before I was going to chop off all those lovely little "cherubs" - oh, the horror!! :)  And all of a sudden, my WHOLE attitude changed. This state of  flux I've been in over my HAIR seemed to instantly dissipate - poof, gone!  And in its place a new understanding that the farther I get into this, the more I'm truly starting to realize that this is so much more than just a cosmetic transition. At the risk of sounding super duper maudlin/cliche, this really is quite the emotional journey as well - and instead of going for instant gratification, I took a big step back, and asked myself just exactly what the hell the hurry is for me to reach the final destination - because yep, (cliche alert!) it really IS all about the journey. 

As much as I may not want to admit it, this is also about the beginning of the transition to old age, and I'm determined to do this gracefully. It took me 35 years to come to this decision to go grey, and (thanks in part to curly girl! ;-)) I'm now ready to rock the ombre look, and to sit back and watch my silver emerge slowly, along with my natural curls.  If I look like a calico cat, so be it.  If I look like I can't afford to dye my hair, so be it. I'm ready for the slow wave goodbye to the colour that has defined part of the physical me for the past 35 years or so, right up until that day a year or so from now that that last strand of dyed hair falls on the cutting room floor (do you sense a movie theme happening here?), and I'm grateful for even a small lesson learned regarding patience, and self-acceptance.  And to think - it was here with me all along.  Just like Dorothy, I've just had a real "click your heels three times" moment. In other words.......an epiphany. :) 

so it's true...

...your hair really does grow at a rate of about 1/2 inch per month! At least that's one of the things I've learned in the almost exactly two months since I last sat in the stylist's chair for the ritual cover-up.  Wasn't exactly sure until today (had to check my credit card statement) when the last time I had my hair dyed, but the big day was May 10, 2013.  I passed the two month mark this past Wednesday then - and this is officially the longest I've ever gone without reaching for a box in the drug store in an attempt to patch it up myself, or handed over more than a day's pay to get a professional to do the deed.

So, two months in, how am I feeling about this?  In a word - FANTASTIC.  Absolutely ZERO regrets.  My only complaint is that hair doesn't grow faster - there are days when it feels like watching paint dry!  Ah well, at the same time, I was very encouraged today by one of the prolific members of the Grey and Proud facebook group who proved with her photos that it only takes 19 months to go from a full on buzz cut, to gorgeous, below the shoulder, flowing silver locks.  That fabulous group continues to be a major source of daily inspiration - not only in terms of answering the myriad of basic questions I had before deciding to do this, but just in general as a tribute to the strength of sister (and brother!) hood, and the power of genuine, non-judgmental positivity.  Truly, social networking at its finest.  :)

I was also intrigued by a post on the G&P group last night, though, from a woman who had apparently joined, transitioned fully to grey hair, but then was encouraged by her husband to go back to the bottle, as he wasn't pleased with her natural hair colour.  I can't relate yet to what that would be like, as I haven't reached the "final destination" yet, so to speak - and I think my S.O. will be on board with the final outcome. (But if he wasn't, although I value his opinion, the decision would still be mine to make).   It did raise the question for me though - what if I'm not happy with it?  I really hadn't thought of that scenario in the course of all the "silver liberation" I've been feeling lately - although I will admit that when I caught sight of my reflection in a store window the other day, with this new "halo" of mine shining like a white hot beacon in the sun, it was slightly jarring for a second - if for nothing more than just how much brighter it looks.  Will I truly be comfortable with a full head of silver hair?  Once the novelty of the transition is over, will I get bored, and succumb once again to the lure of the chemicals?  What if I just plain don't like it?

Well, no way of projecting the answers to those questions, I suppose.  My main motivation for doing this came from a desire to live as authentically and as healthfully as possible, so if I remain true to those values, none of those questions should apply.  But I'm only human - and only time will tell.  Today though, full speed ahead, inch by glorious silver inch! :)

and so it begins...(again!)

I think this might be my third, or maybe fourth, attempt at a blog.  But for one reason or the other, although started with good intentions, I wasn't able to be consistent.  I think that's probably because I felt I could never continually come up with interesting content, my subjects were too broad, or the most likely culprit - I just got lazy.  Anyway....here I am again.  This time, however, my subject is pretty focused - I'm going to be 55 years old this year, and I haven't seen my natural haircolour in almost 30 years (27 years, to be exact).  

It was the occasion of my wedding, October, 1986.  My cousin, who was my maid of honour and my style/makeup guru, suggested that I get a few highlights to brighten up my face for the big day.  And from there, the old snowball effect...a few more, and then still more - then the arrival of a few stray grey hairs, which led to fun "experiments" with drug store boxed dyes - you name it, my hair has been every shade of blonde, from Jennifer Aniston to platinum.  And then there was my auburn/red phase - sometimes professionally done, sometimes again out of a box.  My mother was never a big fan of the reds, but I actually liked it....the one that didn't work for me was an attempt at a dark, flat, chestnut colour.  I think that coif actually absorbed all available light - I looked like I was wearing a permanent motorcycle helmet.  Probably my most adventuresome was a bright pink streak on a bed of red hair....in hindsight, not the greatest idea - my photos of my (so far) only trip to London have me forever immortalized, standing in front of Buckingham Palace, looking exactly like what I was - a middle-aged woman trying too hard to avoid the inevitability of the ageing process.  

Now don't get me wrong - I'm still a LONG WAY from wrapping myself in a shawl and sitting out on the proverbial front porch rocker just watching the rest of my life pass me by - far from it, my friends! And I'm ALL for women of a certain age rocking their own personal style, whether it be funky streaks, or tattoos and piercings, or whatEVER floats your boat.  But for me, over the past year or so, I've been undergoing something of a personal metamorphosis - and I believe I have finally learned, or come to terms, with who I really am, and what I want from the rest of my life going forward.  A short explanation: I've had a lot of inspiration recently from a fellow blogger who has made quite a name for herself in the world of nutrition - Meghan Telpner.  Without going into too much detail, she's helped me understand that I want to live what's left of my life in an authentic, healthy, vibrant, body.  And while what I nourish myself with is a HUGE part of this equation, she's made me also question what I'm putting ON my body, not just IN it.  Everything from makeup to shampoos - and you got it - hair dyes. So there's that. 

But the health aspect is only one facet of my decision to let my hair grow out to it's natural colour (or lack thereof).  Here's the way I see it:

1. I'm 55 years old, and I'm in a happy, supportive relationship. And I'm not kidding myself - those catcalls aren't directed at me when I'm out for a walk with my daughters - and that's EXACTLY the way it should be. (Well, NO woman should have to endure bone-headed catcalls - but you get my drift). 

2. I spend, on average, $1,400.00 and about 35 hours (wow, just worked out those figures and that is SCARY, people!!) a year in a stylist's chair, all in the name of covering up the grey hair that everyone knows is under there - again, who do I think I'm kidding?  

3. The older I get, the more I'm appalled at the double standard where it applies to ageing women vs. ageing men. You know what I'm talkin' bout - the desirable, distinguished older man, vs. the undesirable invisibility of the middle-aged woman.  Yep, you can call me a closet feminist if you like, but it's JUST. NOT. FAIR. 

So there you have it folks.  My raison d'être on this blog, if you will. Now that I've dispensed with the lengthy intro, my reasons for doing this are two-fold - I'm going to attempt to grow out my currently shoulder length medium blonde hair to it's natural grey/white/silver (I honestly have no idea what to expect, but there's a LOT of it hiding under all this chemically treated hair), and I thought a blog would be a great way to document this transition; and -  I know I'm not alone!  When I decided to do this, I turned to (what else?) Google and YouTube to look for support and inspiration - and wow, did I find it.    This link was especially inspiring to me - and I also just recently found an amazing group of like-minded women (and men!) here at the Grey and Proud facebook group. So I'm hopeful that in my own small way, as I share my journey of transition with you, I might also be an inspiration to anyone who is considering shedding years of chemically treated hair, and embracing "nature's highlights".  

While I'm very excited about this transition, I also know it's not going to be an easy one - I'm still not decided on whether I'll tough out the "demarcation line" and attempt to keep my shoulder length hair through all this - or whether I'll just reach a point where I say "F this!" and chop it all off in one fell swoop.  But again, that's what this is for - a place for me to vent, and celebrate, every step along the way - even if I'm all alone here in blogland while I'm doing it.  

I know there is no point in doing this without photos - and I promise you, there will be many - but tonight I just wanted to tap out these thoughts while I'm motivated to do so. (My profile photo is only a few days old, so that's pretty much my baseline at the moment).   So stay tuned folks!  Grey matters!! :)